Why ‘The Secret’ sucks for therapy!

Self Help

No acceptance = thumbs down

The basic qualities of an individual that foster a process of healing and/or growth in therapy are:

  • authenticity
  • desire
  • capacity
  • acceptance
  • connection
  • awareness / presence

The secret bumps my clients up against acceptance.  I have found, that more often then not, clients who have a difficult time speaking about their issues are firm believers in ‘the secret’.  Now lets be clear, setting intentions, positive thinking, positive languaging, and good affirmations can offer support and help to make changes in peoples lives. However, for deep rooted, recurring patterns and issues, this is simply not enough.  And this is precisely where my issue is with those that take ‘the secret’ on as their main means of growth and change.

Many of the ‘secret lovers’ that come to see me refuse to talk about their issues, because they are afraid that speaking about their trauma will bring it into being.  Speaking about one’s issue does not bring it to fruition. In fact, by the time someone chooses to see me, they have already been living with their issue for sometime.  It has made changes to the way that the individual perceives  the world and in many instances we can see this as tension within the physical body. Sometimes this can lead to an overall sense of being tired or exhausted and leave one with little capacity to deal with new circumstances. All of this, because their life force energy is tied up trying to maintain the status quo, whilst being unaware of repressing, rejecting, or disassociating from the issues. Unfortunately, this limits their capacity to actually move through and heal what is going on.    Acceptance is key!  It brings with it relief that releases some of the physical, mental and/or emotional tension that was used to maintain status quo and offers the opportunity for growth and transformation.